Mindfulness daily is a large part of what I try to get my head around.
That is a lot of my problem. I get in my own way of being awake.
I know that the way I begin each day is a link to how the day will continue.
There will always be outside factors that push me into an older default mode of mindlessness. But my morning opens the deep intention to find where my mind is, what I feel in the body and what emotions arise, as often as possible. It’s a lot to recognise, but without this information I do not see clearly.
‘Mindlessness’ I associate with becoming ‘too busy.’
For example; as a Yoga teacher I sometimes find myself coming to class all in a flurry of parking, lugging a bag, a handbag, a Yoga mat bag, opening the room up, placing down mats, cushions, correct lighting and heating and then on top of all that, looking for the keys to the door, which I have no idea where I put, in my hurry to be prepared…this is always a big wake up moment! (most of us know the feeling of placing something down, two minutes later not being able to find it…or going into a room and not remembering why we went in! #mindlessnesshiccup)
I have shifted into my own little cycle of trying to get everything done in an effort to feel that elusive state of mind = ‘enough’.
I have somehow slipped away, far far away, into ‘doing.’
Thankfully the frantic key search transported me back to now. I feel the memory of it, now, as I write. The strong sensation of rush in my limbs, the built up tension in my muscles, and most of all the chaos in my mind-as if my thoughts are scurrying around so fast they often end up bashing into one another.
At this identification, I make an effort to focus my mind on my breath.
The breath and breathing is not mindfulness, using the breath as a focus tool is a part of mindfulness. With this inner focus, the mind is no longer outward seeking, I recognise thoughts coming and going. For so many minutes in the day they were not even being acknowledged.
Thoughts need acknowledgement so they can transform, exit, disperse, dissolve, activate, liberate, educate…and most importantly- be free from us holding on to them!
So, mindfulness daily, mindfulness in any moment, or every moment largely involves getting out of my own way…
it feels like I am untangling the hard wired parts of me and saying “Step aside please! I am coming through!”
This is me, standing up for myself by making a choice, to no longer allow the need and push to ‘be enough’ to override my work, my deep desire to ‘be here.’
Thankfully this being human is a big adventure.
Formal mindfulness practice ir meditation of many forms is the necessary glue to bind and affirm awareness in our daily lives.
Kelly Marie Mills